


lie to me.

by juduarte



Category: Shatter Me Series - Tahereh Mafi
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Modern, Slow burn perhaps, angst?? idk maybe, cause we are cliche here, first fic and have no clue what im doing, i cant write, idk what im doing, k done, no superpowers, probs happy ending duh, you dont have to tell me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 05:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juduarte/pseuds/juduarte
Summary: Maybe perfect doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s an illusion. It’s the most unrealistic thing in the world.Juliette's parents get a divorce causing her to transfer schools. Determined to keep up her perfect persona, she has everyone convinced she's okay, even herself. But when relationships, divorces, lies, and truths weigh her down, she slowly starts to shatter. In the mess of it all, he shows up changing her life in more ways she thought possible.Aaron WarnerHe's perfect.Or maybe that's an illusion too.





	lie to me.

**Author's Note:**

> i basically have no clue what i'm doing,,, this is the first fic i've ever written, if you COULDNT tell. i don't give any fucks about grammar right now idk if i ever will because i just don't care to check it. sorry if it pisses you off idc i'm a lazy person. it is what it is. read if you want just do your best not to cringe. k then  
> (yes i know i say just and always and plenty other words a lot, give me time to extend my vocabulary)

“This is unacceptable!” I know.

“It’s fine-”

“It should be illegal!” Agreed.

“No-”

“I cannot believe this-”

“Kenji!” He goes silent. God, he cannot keep his mouth shut for the sake of his life. It’s why he’s always getting his ass kicked. By me. Doesn’t matter if he lets me or not. He’s like the current, it keeps going on and on and on.

“I’m sorry J. It’s just we’ve grown up going to school together and for you to transfer now,” He groans like a child not getting what he wants, “I mean you find out that your parents are getting a divorce three days, _three days_ ” He shouts through the phone, hurting my ears so I have to move the phone away, “Before school starts!” I know I know I know. His words are only the truth and I have never wanted anything to ever be a lie more than that.  “And that’s not even the worse part. It’s our rival school, our _rival_ school!” 

“I wouldn’t call them rivals considering they kick our ass every time,”

“They don’t kick our ass, J.” He scoffs.

“Seems like it to me,” I hold back a laugh. Kenji is way too easily irritated.

“It’s that damn Warner kid! It’s like he’s superman or something,” 

“Superman? Who’s that?”

“Oh my god- No that’s a discussion for later, right now is my ranting time,” Whenever Kenji talks it’s always his ‘ranting time.’ The only time he stops is when he’s on the verge of tears because apparently ‘men don’t cry’. Adam and I even tried to stop him by making out in front of him once and he didn’t even hesitate. That’s Kenji for you.

“I won’t get through senior year without you,” He was probably right. I’m continuously pushing him to his classes as he’s always distracted by Nazeera. The guy is mentally gone whenever he’s around her. He claims it was love at first sight, I claim that he’s feeling left out with Adam and I together. However I don’t blame him, Nazeera is stunningly gorgeous. She makes me insecure in thousands of ways I didn’t even know were possible. 

One thing I do not like doing is looking in mirrors. I’m scared that if I look for too long I’ll hate what I see.

“You’ll be fine,” A lie, “One year without me won’t kill you,” It’ll kill me, “Plus, it’s not like I’m moving across the country, just to the next town over. I’ll still be able to see you everyday,” Gas money would beg to differ, but it’s Kenji for heaven sake. I’d do anything for him and his childish self. No matter how annoying he can sometimes get. How very, annoying.

I’m not saying I’m perfect. I have many, many flaws, I’m not blind to that. But Kenji is like a five year old stuck in an eighteen year old body. I’ll admit, he’s intelligent, however he does not act that way. He succeeds in fooling everyone of that. It’s like it’s a goal of his. I wouldn’t doubt if it is, he’s constantly up to something foolish.

“What about Adam? Who are you gonna sit with at lunch?” He pauses, then gasps dramatically, “ _Who’s going to be there for you when you need tampons_ -”

“Kenji!” I hear him start to wheeze, and as much as I want to laugh, I suppress it.“I can do that by myself thank you very much,” I continue, talking over his laughter, “I’ll find some friends,” Another lie, “And Adam will still drop off and pick me up everyday from school. I’ve already discussed everything with him and he handled it like an _adult_.” Kenji’s laughter comes to a sudden stop.

“Kenji?” No reply, “Stop messing around,” I laugh, and when he doesn’t reply I wait a few more seconds, “Take me off mute you little shit!” Even then he doesn’t answer, he’s _always_ there to say something about my cursing. I don’t like this.

I wait a few minutes for a reply, for anything. There must be something so so wrong,  “Kenji!” I’m so so so worried, “KENJI!” My phone dings and it’s a text from Kenji. I have never been more relieved-

Oh my God.

“Sending me a picture of your middle finger doesn’t make you any more of an adult! Don’t ever do that again I was so scared I thought my brain would stop working, do this shit to Adam, not me!”

“First of all, uh yeah it does,” He says matter of a factly, “Second of all, you’ve never called me a little shit before and frankly, I don’t like it,” His tone is laminated with fake disappointment. 

“I don’t care! I thought something bad happened,” I slowly try to suppress my heavy breathing.

“Lastly,” He says, mustering up his arrogance, “I’m glad to know you care for my being, J,” He says satisfied, “I really am,” The nerve. I want to slap the smile I know he’s wearing off of his annoying face.

“How does that make you an adult! I think it makes you even more of a little shit,” I say, my worriedness turning into anger.

“Only adults can stick up their middle finger,” He says. _Childishly_.

“Only the childish ones do,” I smile.

“Fine, you want an adult? I’ll be an adult about this,” I hear him cough, he’s readying himself for something I do not want to hear. If it’s worse than one of his rants I might just rip my eardrums out.

“Juliette,” He says, deepening his already deep voice, “I’m sorry to hear that your parents are getting a divorce. Switching schools will be a change for you, but it’s time you grow up, and be on your own for once,”

“I could say the same for you,”

“You’ll get through it,” He says ignoring my comment, “Even if your charming, handsome, sexy fr-” 

“Yeah you’re definitely all of those, is that why Nazeera is head over heels for you? Oh wait, I forgot it was the other way around,” I say smugly and lean back against my headboard. 

“ _Friend_ ,” His anger seeps through the word. “Kenji, won’t be there to help,” I scoff at that, he’s the one who’s always asking me to do his work so he can go shamelessly flirt with Nazeera. Adam and I always get a kick out of those moments, the guy can’t take a hint, “It’s only one year, it won’t kill you,” He says, mocking my comment from earlier. “Oh Juliette! It’s nine o’clock! It’s late, you better be getting ready for your first day at your new, prick of people, school,” He says with fake excitement, plastic dripping from the words, even a hint of anger.

“Kenji it’s saturday I still have one more day,” The thought makes me sick. I’ve never liked school, and now I have to endure it without anyone. I don’t intend to make new friends. I’ve heard everyone at the school is stuck up. Well, I heard Kenji saying that.

“As an adult, I think I know what’s best for you, princess.” My _ass_. 

“You’re only a couple of months older than me!” He also had to start school a year late due to how tiny he was. I was taller than him for years until high school. I swear he was using something to make him grow. It was like I blinked and there he was, almost a foot taller than me. 

“Respect your elders, please,” No thanks. “Goodnight, sleep tight, and don’t let the bed bugs bite,” With that he ends the phone call.

Three, two, one…

My phone starts to ring, I pick it up and answer. “Sorry Kenji, I’m supposed to be getting ready for bed because school starts soon. I’ll call you tomorrow though,”

“J no!” I start to laugh. Kenji is a gullible idiot. When I don’t hang up he continues, “I was being pretty _adult_ wasn’t I?” The sad thing is, he’s being serious. “See, I told you I could be,” I can hear his smile widening through the phone and see his convinced face.

“I actually have to go shower now,” I do.

“Aw,” He starts to pout, as usual. I never expect anything else. 

“Hey don’t start acting like a baby now,” I say as if he hasn’t been this whole conversation. 

“I am not acting like a baby!” Well he’s certainly complaining like one.

“On another note, you still picking me and Adam up for the beach tomorrow?” I bite my lips to conceal my excitement, however my smile grows. I love the beach. There’s so much to do there. Swimming, volleyball, tanning, eating. It’s like a dream. I’d happily die there. I don’t sunburn, a definite blessing considering the amount of time I spend there.

Although, sometimes volleyball can get super intense when the kids from Anderson High, or our ‘rival school’ as Kenji likes to call it, come. Everyone treats it like a deathmatch or something. It’s the only sport I play and the only sport our school can actually beat them at. Kenji said I’m a goddess at volleyball, I tell him that’s just because I’m better than him at it. Kenji’s not used to people being better at him. It’s why he despises that Warner kid so much, same goes for Adam.

“Of course. I’ll be there at eleven _sharp_.” I snort, Kenji’s the last person to be on time. Doesn’t matter if he’s my next door neighbor. I doubt he will be awake by eleven. My phone calls are usually his alarm.

“Bye, love you,”

“Love you too.” I throw the phone on my bed and sink myself down with the pillows, giving myself time to think.

This whole situation sucks. I can’t believe my parents waited three days before  school starts to tell me they’re getting a divorce. Not only that, I have to switch schools because my mom’s moving into a house which is oh so conveniently closer to Anderson High. Apparently, she’s been planning this for months, months! And I’ve only known about it for a day! My now old school is only fifteen minutes away but mom insists I have a fresh start. I don’t want a fresh start! I want to stay here in this town and go to the same school everyday with the same friends and do Kenji’s work and watch Kenji try to win over Nazeera while Adam and I laugh our asses off because everything’s fine. It’s all too much too much too much. I feel like my brain is going to explode and I do nothing about it. I have to pretend I’m fine because it’ll make everyone happy no matter how I feel about the stupid stupid stupid situation.

In the next forty-eight hours, I will have counted the amount of times I’ve been stared at, called a ‘freak’, and have gone to the bathroom to cry.  I will have completed my first day at Anderson High, sat by myself at lunch, finished a book, made no friends,

and still feel u s  e   l    e     s         s     

My alarm goes off at eight o’clock, usual time. The song bellyache waking me up, if I’m going to wake up early, might as well do it peacefully while listening to a song about homicide. That sounds creepy because it is.

I contemplate whether or not I should stay up. I decide to not stay up as I only got five hours of sleep due to Kenji sending me memes until three in the morning. I was the one this time to flick him off. Then he gave me a lecture about being an adult. Halfway through it, I ended the call and put my phone on do not disturb so he couldn’t wake me up.

I’m just about to fall back asleep when I am reminded of what I’m doing today and immediately hop out of bed and go downstairs, eager to start the day.

I almost trip running down the stairs , it’s become a regular thing now. I’m continuously tripping and falling. If it was a game, I’d have dozens of gold medals. Whenever I do it around Adam, he claims it’s because I’m thinking about him. Although I may think about him, a lot, that is definitely not the reason. I’m just too clumsy for my own good. Kenji will occasionally trip and fall to mock me, leading me to be the reason he falls. Twice.

Today is the last day before school starts. My body shudders at the thought. I’m going to make this a hell of a day. Use up every second of it and no one is going to get in my way unless they want a bloody nose. I swear I’m not a violent person, just a very short and stubborn one. I will be happy and stay happy for the rest of the day if it’s the last thing I do. 

I go downstairs and my already made breakfast catches my eye and I go sit at the table. Starting the day off good. Now I wait for the bad to happen. I’m not that idiotic to think the day will go out smoothly, I know it won’t. They never do, there’s the regular miniscule problems I’ll face everyday, some days not so small. I have to try to be more positive for this one day at least. I’m already as pessimistic as it gets.

As usual, my dad is sitting in his big comfy black chair with his coffee and reading the newspaper. Note how I said his because god help them if anyone ever sits in it. I’ve sat in it once and found out two things: One, that it was extremely comfortable. Two, to never sit in it again. My dad literally pushed me off the damn thing. Not in an abusive way of course, my dad would never. It was just kind of a warning, and I’ve made sure to never do it again. Even Kenji doesn’t get to sit in it, nor does he dare. My dad is not someone you want to cross. Considering he’s a lawyer, you also don’t want to get into arguments because he will always win. It gets brutal.

“Hey kid,” My dad asks from the chair, Kenji has picked up on that nickname also, “I’m bringing you to your moms new place later,” Ugh, he’s already glooming the mood. As nice as her new place may be, it’s not this one. Nothing can or ever will compare.

“No need, Kenji or Adam can bring me later. Thanks for the offer,” Neither of my parents are too strict which you’d think would make me a bad liar, because then I’d never have to lie. Wrong. I don’t have a curfew, I just better come back sober and a virgin and in return, I do as I please. It’s pretty easy doing both. Adam’s fine with waiting, although we both don’t want to. It almost happened once at a party, thank god for Kenji’s drunk ass interrupting. We went home right after that.

“Going to the beach today?” He asks sipping his disgusting black coffee. I don’t know how people can drink it, even with all of the sugar and creamer. It tastes like garbage. Kenji’s breath always smells like it. I shiver. Gross. Just drink apple juice or something, it tastes way better and doesn’t make you shake if you have too much. 

“Yeah, uh how’d you know?” Sometimes I think my dad is some kind of mind reader. When he looks at you it’s like he can see your soul. He’s very intimidating, one of many things I didn’t inherit from my dad. I’m the complete opposite. People aren’t afraid to approach me, well, that’s because they don’t even know I exist. Which is fine, better than being known. I’m the last person to want attention. 

“Juliette, it’s eight in the morning. Why else would you wake up so early?” I look down at my already made breakfast. Odd. I grab my fork and jab it into the waffles and try to rip off a piece. I don’t use knives, I don’t respect knives. They cut too effortlessly. It’s unnerving.

“But you had breakfast ready for me. How’d you know I was going to be awake?” Mind reader. Kenji thinks also agrees. It’s more of a joke than reality, but reality isn’t always the best. I prefer to take the imaginative road.

“Alright fine, I heard you and Kenji on the phone last night when I was on my way to bed,” Ah. Explains. So not a mind reader. “Just wanted to sound smart,” As if he isn’t already. Although my dad is still good at reading people, I think it’s part of his job, or what makes him so good at it. Same goes to my mom. Another trait I wish I inherited.

“Well then yeah, around eleven Kenji’s gonna pick Adam and I and take us to the beach,” I can’t contain my excitement through my words. It’s implanted in every single one of them. “He told me eleven sharp though we both know how Kenji is,” My dad turns back to face me, his dark brown eyes laughing, and nods his head once like ‘yeah, we all know.’ I giggle at that. My dad loves Kenji, he’s like the son he never had. Whenever Kenji comes over, they always gang up on me and start to tease me, the same doesn’t go with Adam. 

I can tell my dad doesn’t love Adam the way he does Kenji. Whenever he looks at him, his eyes have a gleam of distrust. I once asked him why he didn’t trust Adam, and he denied the fact, I knew he was lying so I kept pressing him. He eventually told me “There’s just something about him.” Yeah, thanks dad. My first boyfriend and he doesn’t even like him. Great. However it’s gotten better during the two years we’ve been dating. 

“What else?” I give him a questioning look. We both know I’m a beach freak and will stay at the beach for as long as possible. I only leave when Kenji’s whining gets insufferable. Even then I still might convince him to stay longer. Adam doesn’t mind, he told me as long as I’m there, he’ll stay. Kenji constantly likes to point out how easily whipped Adam got. 

I used to doubt his feelings for me when we started our relationship. Adam was the popular one in school, captain of the football team, yet he chose me. The quiet girl who would never put a book down. I know, how cliche right? At the time I didn’t care if he liked me or not, he was gorgeous and I let myself fall. Months later, we were doing everything together. _Everything_. He was either my house or I was at his. (I don’t think Adam’s mom likes me. Whenever I’m around she acts like I’m not even there. Adam said it’s nothing, that she’s not good with people. Right.) Wherever I went, he followed, and vice versa. So did Kenji. Little shit. The first month of us dating was a secret. Kenji was becoming a little jealous and he did very little to hide it. He’s the friend that sits in between the couple because he’s just that annoying. Or scared to third wheel as he once told me.

However we’ve grown out of that. We’d get sick of each other once and awhile. We still hangout everyday, just not every second of it. Thank god. He can sometimes be grumpy, like a man if he had a period. Those are the times I know not to be around him. I once teased him about it and I thought he was going to bite my head off.

Back to reality.

My dad shoots back an innocent look. “I mean, I don’t doubt you wouldn’t stay there all day because whenever you go, you do,” He shoots me a pointed look, “I don’t know how you don’t come back looking like a lobster,” A miracle. Both of my parents are pretty pale. Another gene I didn’t inherit. Thank god. “I just thought since it was the last day,” I groan at the words. The terrible terrible words, “And that you’d use it wisely,” Of course I’m using it wisely. Who does he think I am? 

“Staying at the beach all day is wise, dad. I would never spend my last days,” I spit out the last two words like moldy cheese, he smiles, “Any different. It’s become a lifestyle by now,” We both smile, knowing how deep the truth runs through my words. Deeper than the bottom of the ocean for sure. The beautiful ocean.

“Just get back to your mom’s at a reasonable time,” With that he turns back to his reading.

“Of course,” I devour my food. 

Halfway through doing the laundry, I seriously regret eating my breakfast so fast. I don’t ever process my actions when I’m excited. I just don’t. It’s a bad habit. I have too many bad habits. A really bad habit which gets me in awful situations. I’m not going to elaborate.

I barely make it into the bathroom before I hurl up breakfast.

It’s not even the afternoon yet and the day is already going bad. Splendid. How much worse could I ask for?

By the time I’ve eaten breakfast, then thrown it up, washed the dishes, and finished the laundry, it’s a quarter after ten. God, who knew a family of three could have that much dishes? Well now a family of two. However it only feels like one. I’ve always felt alone in this cruel world. The thought makes me queasier than I already am. Fantastic. I just love this.

My parents never argued or yelled at each other. Everything was happy with us, making me usually question my pessimism. We were like a perfect family of three. Oh how I was so so so wrong. I want so badly to be right.

I’m in my room shaking so badly right now. Like when people drink too much coffee. I don’t know how to stop. I clutch my head to hold back a scream. Trying to pull my hair out as I do with my thoughts. 

What was wrong? Was it me? Could I have done something to stop this? I’m too scared to ask the questions out loud. Afraid to be heard. Answered. 

_Perfect_. Maybe perfect doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s an illusion. It’s the most unrealistic thing in the world. If anything seems perfect, it’s a glamour to cover up what’s really there. The true terrors. Perfect things are stupid, they’re all lies. Stupid stupid stupid lies. 

Something wet drips on my hand and I realize I’m crying. No no no. I’m supposed to be filled with joy, good thoughts only. Today is the last day I should be crying. There’s so many other days I could be crying and I choose today? I’m acting like a child. _Stop crying!_ I scream in my head thousands of times. I try to calm my breathing but I fail. I always fail. I can never do anything right I’m constantly ruining everything everything everything.

I am trying my best. Best is never good enough. I’ve tried to be perfect my whole life. Nothing about me is good enough or ever will be. It’s always been that way. My thoughts are too much for me to handle I can’t this is all too much.

I try to erase the intrusive thoughts but they don’t listen to me.

_Go away! GO AWAY!_

Why why why are they getting divorced? Why did they keep it a secret for months? Why do people keep secrets? Especially the important ones? The ones that matter most? Why can’t I stop thinking about this? I’m overreacting, I know it. It’s what I do. I care too much, feel too much. Emotions crowd me until I feel like a caged animal. I can’t move. I don’t want to.

They were so happy together. I don’t get it. They’ve been together for years and for the divorce to happen now, three days before school starts. Breathing, I find, is very difficult right now and I don’t know if I even am right now oh no no no.

My

Thoughts

Are

Always

D e  c   e     i    v      i       n        g

I pass out before I hit the bed.

_I’m five years old again, walking in the middle of the street, minding whatever business my five year old self has. Sticky from the blue sucker in my hand. Unaware of the many terrible possibilities that could happen. As usual. Some things never change._

I’ve never been aware of anything, which is a bad habit for school. I manage though. I daydream too much, it’s my biggest distraction. _Especially birds. Oh I love birds. How amazing is it that they can fly? I wish I could fly, that’d be cool. Except, I wouldn’t want wings. How would I wear clothes? I pout. Why can’t I have what I want?_

My teacher once had to move me from the window side of seats because I would never take my eyes away from the outside. It was embarrassing. None of my teachers ever liked me. They thrived to take any chance in humiliating me. You get used to it after years.

_Today’s a gloomy day. Puddles everywhere from the rain. I jump in them, soaking my pink pants. Momma’s going to be mad. I stop._

_I plop my sucker in my mouth and continue walking, looking up in the sky. My imagination drifts off, examining what the clouds look like. It’s rarely cloudy out, today is an exception. With all of the puddles it created. Everyday is beautiful. Today there’s a dinosaur on a sleigh, a duck being chased by an alligator. Or maybe it’s a crocodile. I can never tell them apart. Who can actually tell them apart? They’re probably lying if they say they can. Everyone’s a liar._

_My attention is taken away by the flap of wings, by the apple tree. Oh how I love apples. I smile and the sucker almost drops out of my mouth. Crispy or soft, who cares? No one should. They all taste the same to me. The bird starts moving again, flying lower, landing on it’s small nest. Birds are beautiful creatures. To live in a tree? Awesome! I want a treehouse. Daddy says someday I’ll have the best treehouse in the world._

_It’s a white bird with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. Lovely. I decide right there that that’s my favorite bird. I decide I want it as a pet. Yes. Momma and daddy surely won’t care-_

_I hear a familiar voice call out my name. Wait, that can’t be my name. Is that my name? I don’t think it is. He should know my name. Everyone does._

_I know the voice is excited to see me. I can’t remember his name. Why? So weird dude. So odd. I know I like him. He’s my best friend, always will be. I love his eyes, I think they’re pretty. I swear, they glow brighter than the sun sometimes. He makes me blush. Boys are gross! But he’s different. Kind. Momma calls him a sweetheart._

_I turn to the voice, no one’s there. Oh well. I turn my head back to the tree where the bird is. Now there isn’t a bird. Where did it go? “Birdy?” I yell. Awe darn. It was supposed to be mine. Who took it away from me? I want it back. I only turned away for only a second! I didn’t even hear it’s wings flap! Rude._

_“Tweet tweet. Tweet tweet,” I try to call the birdy back. It doesn’t come back. I frown. I try again. “Tweet tweet. Tweet tweet!” I say, flapping my arms in my oversized raincoat, pretending to have wings. I hope it will help. I keep flapping until-_

_He calls my name again. I turn to him again. This time someone’s there. He’s blurry, he sounds worried. Why is he worried? I think that’s normal for him. Always worrying. I smile at him. Why don’t I know who he is but do at the same time? Super confusing. Is he smiling back? I think he smiles at me a lot. I like his smile. It makes me forget a lot of things. He’s the biggest distraction._

_“Why can’t I see you? Why are you calling me that? Where’s my bird? Do you know where it went?” I ask too many questions. I need too many answers. I see him shake his head. That’s not my name, doesn’t he know that? My friend doesn’t even know my name? Silly. Where did my bird go? I want to cry. I’m a crybaby as someone I know likes to call me. I don’t like her. She’s mean. I won’t tell her that though. She tries to take him away from me. I don’t think he likes her either. He doesn’t smile at her._

_“No, watch out!” He says. Yells. Screams. He starts running towards me. His short legs slow him down. I tilt my head sideways. I don’t understand. Why is he scared? Why do I have to watch out?_

_He’s calling my name again. I should tell him that’s not my name, my name is-_

_I turn around to the sound of a car. Now it’s my turn to scream. I’m screaming and screaming and I don’t know how to move I can’t breathe I-_

_“Juliette!” I’m about to get hit about to get hit about to get hit-_

“JULIETTE!” I’m being pushed out of the way. I’m still screaming. Curled up in a ball trying to shield my body. I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead.

I’m not.

“J,” I hear someone whisper softly. I recognize the voice. I listen to it everyday. “It was just a dream, J. Just a dream,” Kenji. 

And he just pushed me to the floor.

“What the hell-” He cuts me off by using his big arms to pull me up. I feel him shaking slightly. I look in his eyes. He seems worried, afraid. I’ve never seen him like this. Kenji’s either irritated or happy. Now I’m scared. I’m about to cry then I realize I’m already crying. I wipe the tears immediately. _No more crying. Don’t you know when to stop?_

That horrible repetitive dream. It’s constantly begging to play in my head. I push it away like I should’ve when I first had it. I shouldn’t have been so obsessed with it and now it’s locked into my head and it won’t get out.

“W-what happened?” I’m shaking and I can’t stop I don’t know if it’s from the dream I seem to not know a lot of things anymore. I tear my eyes away from his face suddenly interested in the floor and ready for the rant.

“I texted you like a million times! When you didn’t answer I thought something might be wrong then I started to freak out because you’re always on time then I thought you might have to be doing some girly things then I remembered, your Juliette, you don’t do girly things, you’re not a normal girl,” Wow. I’m sure as hell I’m not one of the guys. I think I’m sure. I shake my head.

“Not a normal girl? What kind of girl am I?” But he’s not listening. He keeps pacing back and forth. I can’t tell if he’s greasy or if he’s sweating. Maybe both. 

“So I went inside, obviously,” His hands gesture to our surroundings, “and barged in your room and you were screaming and crying and I didn’t know what to do so I just kept yelling your name and, again, obviously, and when you didn’t wake up I pushed you off the bed,” Kenji’s talking so fast he’s now breathless. He sits on my bed taking deep breaths. “Princess, you can’t do shit like that to me. I didn’t know what the hell to do- oh god I was so scared,” He puts two hands over his face.

“Why were you scared?” Kenji gets nervous, not scared. The guy is dangerously fearless. I’m surprised he’s able to walk at this point. He’s broken so many bones I’ve quit counting.

“You sounded like you were dying,” He sits up and looks at me with wide eyes, “I thought you were- oh my god,” He lets out a frustrated groan and again covers his face with his hands and plops back down onto the bed.

Kenji’s never been with me when I’ve had the dream. My dad knows not to try to calm me when I’m in that state. It was a big mistake the first time. My dad doesn’t prefer talking about it so I never know what I’m like during the dream. I usually wake up with scratches all over and a sore throat. The dream is terrifying. Worse than any nightmare. Something about it feels real. Too real. I shake the thoughts away.

It’s silent for a few seconds before he speaks.

“J,” His tone is strange. Interesting. I move my eyes to his covered face.

“Yes?” He sits up again, his hands are removed from his face. He stares at me like a child. 

“I told you 11 sharp,” I know. 

“Yes you did…” Oh my God, “Wait, how long have you been waiting?” He wasn’t lying before, I’m always on time. How stupid can I be? I should’ve taken the morning slow. I couldn’t help myself. Knowing that it was one of the last days of the year to be able to go to the beach, and the biggest volleyball game, I was excited out of my mind to make the best of the day. 

“15 minutes!” I snap back to reality. There’s something odd about the way he’s saying it. He’s not entirely telling the truth. I’m going to get whatever he’s hiding out of him. No more secrets.

“When’d you get here?” He scoffs, as if it’s not necessary. Or like he’s trying to cover something up.

“That’s not important, I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes.”Oh really? Not important?  I shoot him a look, calling him out on his bullshit. 

“Okay fine,” He throws his hands up in the air in defeat, “11:20,” He’s pouting like a child now. Typical Kenji. “Whatever,” We sit a couple minutes in silence before he starts to speak again. “Sorry for pushing you off the bed,” I suppress a smile, I fail. We both know he enjoyed that in some way. “You alright? You’re still shaking, J.”

“Like you said,” I let out a breath and calm the shaking, “Just a dream,” I want to laugh at my lies.

“You only brought three floaties?” I frown at Kenji while pulling them out of the trunk. “I told you to bring every single one,” Here I go, complaining like a child. Another annoying habit I’ve picked up on lately that I need to break. At least he brought my favorite ones: the donut, surfboard, and the huge flamingo one that I sometimes can’t even get on it’s that big. 

Kenji turns to me, he looks as though he was waiting for this conversation. I don’t doubt it. “Look Princess,” He says, shutting the car door. “I sure as hell wasn’t going to be blowing those up by myself while you and Adam start making out,” Oh we so would. Correction, we do. Sometimes. Usually. I am a terrible friend. A terrible person. I can’t help myself. It’s Adam’s fault, he just thinks he can look so good and have me _not_ want to kiss him. Yeah sure, in what reality? My conscious scoffs.

When I first saw Adam, first day of sophomore year, his appearance hit me like a truck. I almost fell into a trashcan I couldn’t stop staring. Well, I probably would’ve done that anyway. Kenji wouldn’t stop teasing me for it. Then one day he and Adam suddenly became friends. Every time he’d hang with us all I’d do was stare at him. Of course he’d catch me doing it, then I’d blush. To this day, nothing has changed. At least I’m not clingy. Thank God I’m not clingy, I wouldn’t be able to handle myself. I would save Adam the time by dumping me myself.

“We would not and I would’ve helped!” Adam and Kenji both shoot me a look. Ugh Adam. I stick my tongue out at him. “Okay fine, I lied. Whatever.” I smile to lessen my irritated mood. I can’t stop complaining about things since I found out I had to switch schools. I need to stop. Starting now. 

“Don’t start lying to me now. You’re like a children’s book, easy to read.” Bet. I’ve lied numerous amount of times and if he knew the truth to most of them, he wouldn’t talk to me for days. Or Adam. Again, I’m a terrible person. I scowl at Kenji. Let him think he’s right. Little does he know I’m a thousand page chapter book that’s written in a language harder to learn than gibberish. 

“Don’t start acting like you can read children’s books now, Kenji.” Adam replies with a smug smile on his face. He walks over to me and takes a floatie out of my hands to carry and grabs the cooler from the trunk which gives me a very nice view of his-

“Ew, J. That’s just not cool okay? We are in public. There is plenty of other times to be staring at Kent’s ass and now is _totally_ not one of them.” He shivers with a disgusted look on his face. I fight back a blush as I hear Adam laughing. 

“No need to be jealous, Kenji,” He says, shutting the trunk. 

“ _As if_ \- you know what? I’m done with this conversation. I can’t with you people.” He shakes his head and continues doing whatever he’s doing.

“C’mon, Kenji,” I say as I start walking near the beach.

“Just one sec, J,” I continue walking knowing damn well it will be more than a second. I don’t have any patience right now.

“Yo dudes wait up!” I ignore him and keep walking. I hear him groan and I snort.

Adam wraps an arm around me as we walk down the concrete stairs that I once fell down and ended up with a concussion. Something I never want to relive. At least it was years ago, it’s likely no one remembers. I hope.

I turn and look into his bright blue eyes, not the color of the sky, but the deep sea. I smile and then he notices me smiling and then I blush another time and turn my head to look at the steps so I don’t fall. I blush too easily. By now it means nothing. 

“What you smiling for, beautiful?” He asks. He damn well knows why I am smiling but me saying it is like a trophy for him. And Adam always wins. I contemplate answering when Kenji bursts through between us, wrapping his arms around out shoulders. 

“Thought you two could lose me huh? You people need to be patient,” I bring my head up and roll my eyes. As if he wouldn’t have done the same. All three of us have no patience. I’m surprised Kenji waited that long this morning. “Ah what a beautiful day kids. No clouds and a steaming eighty eight degrees. So many babes to talk to, damn it’s overwhelming.” He dreamily sighs. I mentally roll my eyes. “What is it that you’re laughing at, Ms. Ferrars?” He dramatically snaps his head in my direction and raises an eyebrow daring me to reply and I almost laugh.

“You-”

“Honestly think a girl is going to talk to you? Dude, they didn’t before and they sure as hell aren’t going to do it now. Maybe Nazeera’s here, then you won’t have to embarrass yourself with other girls,” Adam cuts me off with a tone that I do not like. I hold back a frown and smile wide. Pretending that him insulting Kenji is amusing.

Not gonna lie, as much as I love him, Adam can be a real dick sometimes. I don’t know how to react to it or what to say when he’s like that. I just go with it as usual. At least I have Kenji to call him out.

“Don’t go thinking you’re hot stuff, Adam. We both know you got lucky with Juliette.” He winks at me, then looks off into the distance. “Who’s to say you could get any of these girls either?” He smiles as if to say ‘Yeah, you bet your ass I went there’.

“We both know I could get twice the amount of girls you could,” I hold back another frown. I should be happy that he chose me out of every girl. Though hearing him say these things makes me feel like I’m a cheap toy. Easy to get. Like he could drop me any second and date all of the girls he wants. He probably could. I don’t like when he’s like this either, something I’ll never say. 

“Oh shut up you two,” I flip my hair dramatically, “You both only need one girl in your life and _that_ ,” I face both of them, “Is me,” I say matter of factly. 

“J, I’m flattered, really-” Adam snorts.

“I said shut up,” I point a finger at him and he backs down, “And we both know that’s not what I meant you weirdo.” We all start to laugh.

“Oh yeah that’s right. Juliette and Adam forever,” He says, using his two fingers to draw an invisible heart and makes a weird face.

“Yo Warner’s here!” I hear someone shout down by the beach. Everybody seems to love this Warner guy. Or at least love to talk about him. I mean he is the reason they win all their games. I’ve never gotten a good enough look at him before. I don’t pay attention. Whenever we are near each other, it’s usually the volleyball games and I don’t pay attention to the people, just the game. I’ve heard girls drooling over his looks before only by talking about him. Even Kenji once said the guy is annoyingly attractive. On accident. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt for days. If I told anyone he threatened to spill all my secrets. Fine. Doesn’t mean I can’t bring it up once in awhile. 

I feel Kenji tense up at the guys name, betting Adam is too. They start to have their own little conversation as we walk down the very long steps.

Right before we hit the bottom of the stairs, something hard knocks into my shoulder and I almost miss my step. Kenji and Adam too engrossed in their conversation to notice. I decide I’ll ignore it until-

“Sorry, love.” The voice says gently, truly sorry. “Next time I’ll-,” He stops talking as he turns around and faces me. His eyes brighten. He smiles. Beams. Showing off his dimples. “Watch where I’m going,” And he turns back around and runs the last of the few steps.

Oh my god. 

I have no doubt in my mind that _that_ is the guy, no, _man_ , everyone talks about.

Warner.

He’s perfect.

And I don’t think I’ve ever hated perfect any more than I do now.


End file.
